Weigh up the costs

I stand there watching my whole world swirl around in a flash.
like i was standing behind double plated sound proof glass, screaming at the scene before me. They did not hear a word
My whole family entangled in a fight, like one you see on the animal planet
The males fighting it out to be the alpha!
but here's the twist, its the Alpha of my house fighting the rest of us!
and as much as i try to stay out of it, the toxic emotions that spew from this brawl soon engulf me and drag me into it!
I fear that if i stand to close i may be next, but i fear if i do nothing someone will get hurt
i normally do not care for my family but it is when these events happen that i cant help but sit in the corner biting my nails waiting for someone to break it up.
I'm pretty sure my father called it quits just a moment ago
I'm pretty sure my mother will not be able to sleep tonight.
I fear of putting a toe out of line, the volcano's erupted and there's a safety zone
do i dare step over it and be burned alive?
or stay in the safety zone and be trapped here forever!
I know why i cling to any relationship,
because my family make me fear that i will be alone or never be loved
i don't want to end up like that! i want someone to love me, and make me happy
i want someone to take me away from this!
I run into my room, put my headphones on turn the music up so loud it hurts
and block everything out!
i don't want to listen to your yelling! i don't wanna listen to the glass when it breaks! or the screams when someone gets hurt!
i don't wanna listen to the door slam and i don't wanna sit here trying to guess who just walked out!
there are no wars happening... but why does it feel like I'm walking across a battlefield.. being careful of hidden mines!
They have defined me of who i am, i walk around problems.. i am quick to pick fights!
and i cant talk to anyone about anything that's under the surface
because i learnt early on in life that we don't dare talk about what happens behind that front door.
it was never exactly said to us, but it was always understood
if the secret got out, if they knew how damaged we really were
we would all pay...
every single one of us!
now we just have to weigh up the costs