Once again I turn to this page, Once again my pain is so great it cripples me
Last night I made a mistake, I spoke of love and you turned your back on me.
I cried and I writhed and my nails clawed at my flesh.
the same things happened as last time I gave myself away to an unwilling partner.
forever making the same mistake
the same consequences come from this mistake.
I thought I had seen the last of this ugly monster! Depression is creeping back into my life and I have to stop it before it destroys my life!
The thing that kills me is that this monster that clings to my back is invisible. I think its gone but then it shows up in my life when I'm truly happy and smashes me back down.
I should know my place by now.. I should just stop trying, because no matter what I do I always make the wrong choice.
I must pick people who I know will hurt me down the track because I haven't had a normal healthy relationship ever. every man in my life is there to hurt me, to make sure I stay in this pit of self hate and pain.
- Love was just not made for me, I have a heart capable of such emotion.
But with no outlet to give. I will surely go mad!
My heart expands to the extent that I burst and the receiver of this runs as fast as they can away.. and I am left as usual by myself.
